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Louie's 235 Italian Relatives

Excerpts from Chapter 10

“Louie & His 235 Italian Relatives”

In 2004, the Sunday  NEW YORK TIMES featured a full page, on the front page of the Times HOME Section. about Louie …  HIS BILLION DOLLAR BRAND …….and  some of his 235 relatives who were visiting that day 

“The following morning my office was deluged with phone calls. Maureen Mcguckin, my office manager was very efficient to write down the names and telephone numbers of the women who called and said she would get back to them after she had spoken with me. Maureen left me messages of over 38 women who called my office  after reading the New York Times article. I did have Maureen  respond  nicely to all of the women on Tuesday. But I thought I would like to share the first thought that came to mind when I read each of these woman’s  questions. I will use their real names to protect the innocent. Please take note: ALL WERE SINGLE WOMEN”

Midred:….. Is Mr Nichole dating?

 Louie:….. Yes…. If you have a brother or a husband

Sally: I know it says that he hasn’t been in a “committed relationship”, but is he looking to be committed?

Louie: Well, he isn’t right now , but he should be by the end of this week.

Marsha: He seems like such a nice person. I went to his website…. Where did he get all that talent?

Louie: Sears….day after Christmas Sale….50% off.

Sarah: I dated Mr Nichole in the 30’s. I thought he died. He looked so good in the picture. Was that an old picture of him?

Louie: Very old…..If you have any photos of you and Louie…please send them to my mother. She will be happy to see that I was dating women in the 30’s

Ah, Sara…. those were the days!

Jennymae: Is Mr Nichole  as handsome as he looks in the photo?

Louie: No ..I’m ugly which is why I’m not committed..

Gertude: Would Mr Nichole come to dinner if I invited him.

Louie:   Sure….and  I love intimate evenings…….oh ….by the way do you mind if I bring my  235 Italian relatives

Shirley:I wanted to send  a little food basket to Mr Nichole. Is there any kind of food Mr Nichole is allergic to?

Louie: Yes… wedding cake

Mary: Does Mr Nichole  take in any apprentices?

Louie: He used to, but now they are all work for Donald trump.

Good Morning America: We would like to use Mr Nichole’s piece on our show.

Louie….OUCH !!!!

Margorie: Does Mr Nichole do private clients?

Louie: Not unless they go public.

Merle: I have been a big fan of Mr. Nicholes. I have been buying his dresses for years.

Louie:Really? So that’s what happened to all the dresses in my closet !

 ( she thinks I‘m Nicole Miller)

: Doesn’t Mr Nichole want to settle down and have a family?

LOUIE: What part of the article didn’t you understand?

Renee:How come they don’t sell his products at K mart anymore?

LOUIE: Because they cell Marthas. ( she was in Prison at the time)

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